7 Things to Think About Before You Say Anything

Becoming conscious of what we are about to say before we speak is a key element in communicating effectively. Communication disconnects are much more common than they need to be. This article addresses 7 things to think about before speaking to improve message delivery and minimize communication disconnects.

• What do I want to say? Once the importance of a message is established the next step is to determine what you want to say. As the importance of a conversation increases so do the opportunities for misinterpretations. Think about your message and ways to say it most effectively. If you know the person whom you are communicating with you may understand some of his or her idiosyncrasies in communication. For example, some people are very articulate and may be irritated if a person is not clear, crisp and focused when speaking. Other people may not be as concerned with the words and phrases but need to feel that the other person is emotionally connecting. In other words there are many ways in which people communicate. Adjusting message delivery to accommodate different communication styles helps improve message delivery.
  
• What is my body language communicating? Unspoken communicationcan be as important—and sometimes more important that the actual words and phrases in a conversation. Visual signals, facial expressions, voice, pitch, volume and tone all communicate underlying messages in a conversation. As the importance of conversations increase so does the effect of our body language. Even if ones words and phrases are carefully selected, if they don’t align with one’s body language then little red flags go up in people’s heads. For example, if you are saying, “yes” to someone, but your head is slowly nodding side to side, the other person may become confused. Consciously being aware of what is being communicated with your body language can help to reduce disconnects and ensure your message delivery is clear and consistent.
  
• What is the other person’s body language communicating? Carefully observing the other person’s body language during a conversation will communicate to you many important items. First, is the other person engaged in the conversation? Some common signals of engagement include, but are not limited to: interested looks, slight nodding of the head up and down, smiling in agreement, standing attentively or sitting forward. Next, does the other person understand what you are trying to communicate? His or her comments and question will indicate understanding, or it will communicate some sort of disconnect. If you think your message is not understood—or is unclear to the other person—then ask the other person if you need to restate something? Finally, by being attuned to another person’s body language your own engagement in the conversation will increase. Engagement communicates interest, and promotes better understanding.
  
• How important is my message? Many of the conversations we have every day do not have significant consequences. Some do. Consequently, the importance of the message should be directly proportional to the time invested in preparing the message for delivery.
  
• Am I really listening to the other person? We all have a strong need to be listened to. Having an open mind to listen to the thoughts and ideas of others shows their importance. Listening is a key to sincerity, validation and respect.
  
• Play it again Sam. The more important the conversation, the more critical it is to play in your head what you are going to say before you say it. By listening to yourself internally you will be able to determine if there are words and/or phrases that have the potential for miscommunication. Then you can adjust what you say before you say it.
  
• Speak with confidence. Finally, when you are ready to speak it is wise to come from a place of being humble and confident.Few people enjoy arrogance and a know it all attitude. A humble nature coupled with confidence are a good pairing that is appealing to others.

Taking just a few extra seconds to think about these 7 things before you speak will significantly improve message delivery, understanding and reduce disconnects. It will also show the importance of the person whom you are conversing with. When people feel important they will work diligently to improve their communication with you as well. Everyone wins.